Life is a testing ground. When things go wrong, it feels like the entire world is against us. One thing after another keeps our downward spiral alive. Instead of getting a break when you need it the most, the world seems to push, twist, and pull us until we’re at our breaking point. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but what should a person do when everything appears to be going wrong in their life?
When nothing goes right
Crappy situations happen when you’re not paying attention to what not is working in your favour. Sometimes you just need to take it personal and have a good look at your personal situation to understand what’s really going on. You need time to reframe. Try to understand what is happening NOW and what is actually in your power to change. Are you experiencing a hard time right now and want to understand why? NOW is the time to get moving and rewrite your story. Here are the main reasons why you’re experiencing emotional turmoil again and again.
You hit rock bottom
You don’t understand that hitting rock bottom is a wake-up call. It means that something you’re doing in your life is not good for you. It’s a sign that you need to stop your way of living. Take time to breathe, think and make some serious changes. When everything is going wrong, it makes you want to collapse and this may lead to poor decision-making. Your state of mind affects your performance and you are blaming your circumstances for the way you feel. If you don’t want to look inwards and work it out for yourself, you’ll keep experiencing emotional turmoil again and again.
You attract toxic people and you don’t realize it
You’re being played by a “victim”
They have horrible parents or an unfair boss. Or a back-stabbing best friend. Or an ex bent on their destruction. They tell you a really sad story to prove their innocence to confirm their helplessness. They want to engage your sympathy. They never tell you what their role was in the whole drama saga or what they are doing about it to change their fate. As the saying goes, opposites attract. Sometimes the positive light you shine attracts people who are craving the light themselves. Whenever your toxic friends engage in these negative behaviors, pull back a little more. If you’ve tried to tell them what the problem is and you’ve slowly pulled away from them and neither of these things are helping then its time to cut them off completely. Once you eliminate the negative people in your life, you will be that much happier.
When you have a partner that has characteristics of a manipulative person, be aware! They just know how to detect your weaknesses and once found, they will use your weaknesses against you. You need to question yourself. Do you feel empty because the relationship does not feel equal? Are you making all the moves? Are you getting to know his or her life, struggles, goals and dreams, but the favor is not returned? The result is that you do not feel courted, and this is because you are more interested in developing a deep, meaningful relationship, instead of something short, shallow and meaningless. When your spouse is not making plans with you, then they are withholding from you and you do not want that kind of relationship. Love gives equal influence, and does not hold back.
You fall in love with the wrong person
You neglect your needs and ignore your intuition
We all have an intuition, a “gut” feeling that tells us things our conscious brain is more likely to ignore. You have to trust your gut while you pick a partner. Picture this; a great man meets a wonderful girl who is instantly attracted to him. He likes her but doesn’t find her attractive. His initial thought about the girl was “I don’t like her features and overall appearance”. “Physically, I find she is not a “match” for me and I am not proud of being so shallow”. Two years later the man commits adultery with another woman and starts an emotional affair. Infidelity in the digital age seems to be nothing new these days. However, once an emotional affair is in place, these digital platforms may be the primary way they communicate with the person they’ve become involved with, since they make the relationship easier to hide. In the first place, an affair is not the solution. Secondly, an affair is not a mistake. Thirdly, an affair is a choice. Sexual attraction rarely grows over time. With men, this almost never happens. With women, it tends to be correlated to her feelings about her partner. However, if there is NO attraction to start, there’s not even any room to go down. Cheating is the precursor of incompatibility. Think before you act and stick to your intuition before you enter into a new relationship.
You hate your job and can’t quit
Most people spend their lives in desperation. They do the things that are absolutely necessary in their lives and avoid the things that require even a little bit extra effort. They do only the minimum amount of work in their jobs, spend only the minimum amount of effort in their love lives, and spend almost no time on their future plans. In fact if you call any office in the morning, at any day of the week and ask the person answering the phone, ‘How do you feel?’ their answer will usually be.. ‘I feel tired.’Are they feeling tired because they’ve been working long hours? Nope. Is it because something is going wrong in their lives? I don’t think so. Most people feel tired because they have tired attitudes and don’t want to change. They rather stick in a dead end job and complain all day.
A lot of people fall into this trap, delay the inevitable by choosing to procrastinate with their job search and waste years feeling unfulfilled, underpaid or unhappy. Why? Author and Career Coach Noelle Gross puts it like this “I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for people who don’t choose to be happy in their jobs”. “Each and every day is a gift and if you are just getting through the day because you won’t make a move into something you love, you are wasting your precious time”. “By staying in the job you hate, you are depriving the world of your talent and ultimate purpose”. Well said, Noelle. I highlee agree with you.
So how do we cope when everything seems to go wrong?
Here are 7 tips that can help you out
1. Don’t be lazy. Walk the talk; because it doesn’t matter what you want, it matters what you are embodying.
2. Mindful Dating; find your tribe. Find genuine friends and a romantic partner who supports you and keeps you sharp and focused. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Surround yourself with kindred spirits. You gotta have your worship and relationships right, right?
3. Speak your mind, find your truth. Be honest with yourself; what is it what you really want?
4. Listen to your body. Remember the character Carol Beer from ‘Little Britain’? When the computer says “NO”, it definitely says “NO”. Your body works exactly like this. When your body says “NO” its a definite NO GO. Your body knows what’s good for you.
5. Be open and collaborative; practice willingness and try to do new things. If we are too proud or stubborn to learn, we lose out on some wonderful, simple ways to improve our lives.
6. Make a list of the things that you absolutely hate to do. Think about all the things that went wrong in your life. Did you write it all down? Now burn this piece of paper and while burning it think about what you do want for your life.
7. You don’t know how to say “NO,” and toxic people know this. Work on your boundaries and say “NO” very often. It’s okay to dissapoint other people. The only one you don’t want to dissapoint is YOU.
Happiness is a result of your approach to life, not what happens to you. Please re-invent yourself and create an epic life. Not for me, for you, because this is your life and everyone needs to fulfill their soul purpose.
You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. ~ Marcus Aerelius
Daisy is the founder of Iloveyou500; a thinker and interested in personal development, social change, and human potential. Crazy about music, songwriting, religion & spirituality, (K)pop culture and music production. She works as a pastoral counselor in a Dutch nursing home and likes making new friends so feel free to get social with her.